It's been way too long since my last post. Davis and Blaine keep me super busy when I am not at work. Cooper has entered my mind a lot lately. I was quite surprised by how difficult mid May was for me. I assumed since I had already been through the anniversaries of his birth and death last year that this year would be easier. No it was not easier and since I did not prepare myself it was worse. May 17th is the day I entered the hospital and first faced the possibly of Cooper dying. Last Thursday, I kept looking at the clock and going back to what was happening two years at that particular time. Even though it was worse this year, i was very proud of myself on monday (the second anniversary of the day Cooper died). There is a little boy named Cooper that sometimes shows up to Davis's hockey skating class. He showed up on Monday and everytime someone shouted his name it was incredably difficult not to cry. But I did it and managed not to cry while there. The pain that comes with losing a child never lessens you just learn to tolerate the pain.